LSU Stuck With Ed Orgeron; Praying for Urban Meyer

I’m nowhere near as in tune with college football news as I used to be, particularly in the offseason. There was a period of time in my life where I’d have the entire LSU depth chart memorized and know exactly what threats were coming from within the conference. Beyond that, I’d furiously study the other schools that would be possible threats on during LSU’s attempt at a national championship. But this one incompetent coach has broken my passion.

Those days feel like forever ago. Ever since LSU shit the bed against Alabama in January 2012, just after completing one of the greatest regular seasons in college football history, the entire program started to fall apart. The successive versions of the team were always lacking some critical component to be complete, and we slipped from greatness to just really good. Then our completely incompetent and absolutely worthless asshole of an athletic director, Joe Alleva, completely botched the removal of the beloved (if not always successful) Les Miles.

He finally pulled the trigger though, and us fans went crazy with the prospect of all the coaches we could possibly land. We felt like any coach in the country was ours to pluck, and enthusiasm for the future was sky high. In the meantime, the aggressively lackluster Ed Orgeron was keeping our program respectable while the professionals conducted the search in the background. Except there was no search. There was no wining and dining of anyone, and at the end of it all LSU ended giving a guaranteed contract with a huge buyout to a guy literally nobody else wanted, and we’ve been paying for it ever since. He blew it.

Ed Orgeron is so clearly over his head in this head coaching game, it’s absurd. I’ve never seen a guy more clueless on a football field, and that includes myself when I was an extremely undersized defensive tackle in seventh grade. He simply stares blankly while his team melts down over and over again. He lost to Troy, a team whose best player theoretically wouldn’t even make the third string at LSU. He doesn’t use the microphone on his headset during the game. He’s just wearing headphones and probably listening to podcasts.

This man is like Major Kong riding the nuclear bomb at the end of Dr. Strangelove, gleefully taking this team from a consistent to a competitor to a speed bump on everyone else’s way to glory. Pretty soon other teams are going to start calling LSU a trap game– that’s when you know it’s rock bottom.

The reason this is on my mind now more than ever is for two reasons. 1. College football kicks off in just a few weeks and I’m forced to face my fears and 2. Urban Meyer and possibly the athletic director of Ohio State, Gene Smith, might lose their jobs over the next week. Urban Meyer is one of the greatest coaches in the country and you’ve undoubtedly got people in Ohio trying to rationalize domestic abuse to keep him around. However, since he neglected to report something he absolutely should have reported he’s probably going to be out.

Meanwhile all over south Louisiana you’ve got hundreds of thousands of people begging to fire our coach and athletic director, and we seemingly don’t have a prayer of getting rid of either. Unfortunately no one has dug up any dirt on either one, and their fates seem to be inexorably linked. The only way we’re going to get rid of Orgeron is if we lose enough games in a season, most likely six. Though it hurts my soul to consider the idea of my team sinking lower in status, it’s either this or accept a slow and miserable death. There are LSU fans that think because Orgeron is a nice guy he should stick around and keep guiding us to eight win seasons. These people also probably enjoy¬†The Big Bang Theory and their opinions are objectively terrible. They are imbeciles.

LSU has a decent team, but a horrible coach. On paper they should be able to muscle out eight or nine games. This unfortunately would probably keep the coach’s job because our administration is completely flaccid. But I’m a believer. I have enough confidence in Orgeron’s lack of ability that I think he’s going to drop a few games he shouldn’t, opening the door to his firing. That’s my dream.

I find it incredibly likely that Urban Meyer will likely also be unemployed at the end of the year. Everything I’ve read suggests the rule he broke is grounds for termination. However, since he has not engaged in any wife beating of his own, there’s not going to be the usual stigma of trying to hire an alcoholic or a cheater. No, Meyer has to spend a few months “soul searching” and coming to terms that he let people down, and by the end of the year he’ll be back on deck for a top flight job.

On paper, LSU could be that job. The one thing Orgeron has ever shown to be good at is recruiting, and at this moment his class for 2019 is looking decent. This could be a situation where Meyer has an opportunity to get right back among the elite.

This is all theoretical. Winning heals all wounds, and Urban Meyer is good at it. He may somehow convince Ohio State to let him keep his job, in which case I’ll resign myself to misery all over again. Beyond that, even if Meyer is available I have incredibly little faith in Joe Alleva to actually handle this correctly. Everything the man touches turns into garbage.

Hoping for the best but expecting the worst. We’ll be waiting Urban.